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State of Not-Wanting


This is a little out of order, but then, that is often how I seem to approach things.  Here is a vernal pool.  It is a depression in the woods that fills with clean cold water when the snows melt, and attracts frogs and salamanders, and so is one of my favorite places.  Also, I really liked the sculptural log lying there so artfully, as if placed there.

I am in the middle of reading “Horse Heaven” by Jane Smiley…. great read!  I was struck by one of the characters, who noticed that when her friends had a wish granted, it didn’t change them or make them happy for more than a fleeting moment.  The more she saw this, the less she found herself wishing for anything.  This intrigues me because, as a rule, I am a bundle of wants, many of them conflicting!  When I try to sort it all out and ask myself what I REALLY  want, I get all confused and find myself day dreaming instead.

So I’ve been trying it out.  I’m not saying there was cause and effect, here, but the other morning I heard voices and looked up to see horses standing in the road by my house.  In a subdivision in a town.  I mean, wow!  Of course I went out to investigate.  There were 3, ridden by a mom and her 2 daughters.  They were on their way to Tastee Freeze in town.  Simply amazing.  This was, for me, a magical thing.  When I was a child living in northern California, you might very well see a horse tied up at the local grocery store.  But in a Chicago suburb?  Not so much.  So I feel encouraged to stop wrestling with life and start saying “yes, ok” to it.


playing in the mud at a restoration workday.  We were planting native plants to help fight the invasives.

10 thoughts on “State of Not-Wanting

  1. Isn’t it great when these little miracles take place like horses in a Chicago suburb? I live in a rural area, but even so was caught totally off guard one morning when driving to work there was a cow ambling down the center of the road.

    1. Yes, these miraculous moments take us so by surprise and make everything worth while. I sure would enjoy seeing a cow ambling along.


  2. Lovely painting, Melissa. It looks like a magical spot.

    1. Thank you Angela! It is indeed a magical spot~ very peaceful. Well, except for the busy frogs!


  3. Your pretty painting reminds me that my first encounter with term vernal pool was at Enchanted Rock State Park in Texas. In various places on the huge outcropping of rock, at least when there’s enough rain, water forms small pools that become micro-environments for plants. I’m glad to hear you have similar magical places where you are.

    1. Thank you, Steve. I’ve been fortunate enough to visit Texas 2 times, but I’d like to see your area. Enchanted Rock sounds magical. You have to look harder, here, but there are beautiful little spots to be found.


      1. Enchanted Rock is two hours from Austin, so I don’t often go there, but I’m always happy when I do. On the whole, central Texas isn’t a particularly scenic region, but as you said, there are beautiful little spots to be found. I’ve found my share of them.

      2. In a way I think we are the lucky ones. I would rather have to seek the beauty and then appreciate it all the more than be hit on the head with it every day until it no longer moves me.


  4. Sometimes the Not-Wanting shifts subtly and you Have-Everything…..for little stretches, here and there. 🙂

    1. Right, exactly! Finding balance is tricky.

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